Saturday, January 10, 2009

Look, Cleveland, It's Not You. It's Me.

I know that breakups are hard, but it's really for the best. And trying to keep me here by throwing a foot of snow in my direction just isn't cool. So let's part as friends. We'll remember the good times, but it's better to make a clean break.

Listen, we both knew this was a temporary thing. I know that five years doesn't really seem like "temporary" to you, but you and I both know I would have hightailed it out of here long ago had the conditions been right. You were a waiting room, and now my number's been called.

We did have good times. Do you remember when I met Dave? You helped me meet him, so thanks! How about my first Indians game, when the weather was unseasonably warm in early May? The night was gorgeous, the hot dogs and pretzels were delish, and everyone was in a good mood.

And then you took off the side mirror of the car in some kind of fit.

Okay, maybe a little bit of it was you. Like remember in August of 2003 when we joked about how much fun the power outage at work was? We all got to leave 5 hours early and it was a gorgeous day? We had a picnic in my back yard and lots of people came. That was great. But then two weeks later you decided to take down the entire power system on the
northeast grid. That was a little crazy.

Or how about after my first winter here, when I said that I liked snow. I meant that I liked a little bit of snow, in winter, when appropriate. But then you went crazy again and decided to send snow from the beginning of October until the middle of May the next year.
You set a record, for crying out loud. 105" of freaking snow in one season, except the "season" included fall, winter and spring! You just don't know restraint.

I need to be in a place that freaks out when 3" of snow falls. I can't be in a place that gets 5-6" and they call it flurries! I'm not all that jazzed about "Lake Effect."

I'm not saying that I won't come back. I will, occasionally. We can still get together to reminisce about the old times. But for now, this is goodbye.

Excuse Me, Mother Nature? Please Stop.

As some of you know, I leave tomorrow to relocate for my new job which starts Monday. I thought I would head down around noon, but the 12-14" predicted snowfall may pose a bit of a problem. Unbelievable! I let Dave take the Explorer to New York, figuring he would need it more than me. Ummm, negative. They have nothing.

And the worst part is that I have to shovel the sidewalk and driveway. I haven't shoveled in a while due to my asthma and the fact that my husband is a stud. I'm thinking I need to wait for my neighbor to come out with his snow blower and hope that he takes pity on me. That would be nice, huh? As of 3 hours ago, we had received another 5 1/2".

But we're just getting started. And I am off to shovel the drive a bit. I figure I should do a little at a time, instead of trying to shovel all 12 inches at once. Thanks, Mother Nature. It's such a wonderful good-bye present from Cleveland.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009 this thing on?

Hello, my name is Kim and I just ate my husband's Reese's Peanut Butter Cups that he was saving. The ones I got him as a thank you for standing in line at Kohl's two days after Christmas so I could keep shopping while he crept forward towards the registers. The one that he was so excited to get and wanted to save because it was the huge pack. The King Size one. Yeah, I ate part of it. Not all of it, mind you. But enough. And since he isn't here, he won't know until he gets back.

Unless he reads this blog. Hmmmmmmm.

Does he read this blog? I can't remember the last time he mentioned it.

Hey, chocolate and peanut butter are not to be trifled with in this household! And when you put them together? Well that's just heaven in bite-size form. Even my niece is in on the deliciousness. When I gave it to him, I told him to hide it. Palmer was coming over to open presents and I knew she would find it. David underestimated the allure of Reese's to a 2 1/2 year old. I, however, did not. He put it in the room we were staying in while at my Gramma's.

Anyone want to guess how long it took her to find it? Less than five minutes. And that's just walking in the door. Once she was in our room, it was under a minute. So really, he's lucky to still have it.

Yeah, I'm rationalizing at this point. I could go tomorrow and get another one for him. Put it back in the cupboard. He'd never know.

Monday, January 5, 2009

New Year, New Challenges

So you may remember in my last post how I so eloquently said goodbye to 2008. It was beautiful and moving, wasn't it? Couldn't you just envision those lovely Von Trapp children waving ever so gently, ever so slowly to the crowd of couture-wearing Austrians at their father's soiree while climbing the stairs at the end of the So Long, Farewell song as you read it.

Okay, I'm snapping back to reality. I was vulgar and not even close to eloquent, but it suited how I was feeling.

Now that the new year is upon us, I am looking forward. I start my new job a week from today, and to say I am nervous is putting it very lightly. It's not just about starting a new job. That's the easy part. It's the fact that I am going to be apart from Dave during the weekdays. And to let you know just how I feel about that, I just started to tear up when I typed that last line. There's a knot in my stomach and a hitch in my breathing.

Dave and I have friends who have five children...five! And when the wife was pregnant with number 5, the husband moved 3 hours away to take a job. The wife had 4 kids at home, was pregnant again, and had to run things without her husband. And search for a job closer to their new home. Now, before someone gets mad and screams at me that there are plenty of capable single mothers who do this every single day blah blah, just stop right there. I get it...I do. My point is that she wasn't a single mom. She was a mom who had to make do without dad because he was laying the groundwork for their family to move up. But she was still responsible for the daily well-being of herself and her kids without her partner.

My point in telling this story is that my situation is much more bearable than hers, so I shouldn't complain. But still. I'm sad that I'll be sleeping alone for 5 of the 7 nights a week. Plus we live in the center of crappy Ohio weather, particularly in the winter (2 words...lake effect!) so thinking I'll be able to come home every weekend is probably folly. Best laid plans, right?

I'm really preoccupied by this too. Dave is in New York right now with his mom who is recuperating from surgery. He called me on my cell today when I was driving back from errands. I was sitting in the car talking to him while getting all my packages together. I couldn't find my phone, though. I sat there frantically searching for my cell phone while it was...wait for it...attached to my right hand, held up to my ear. I think it took me several minutes to figure this out. I'm just scattered.

And that's just perfect for someone who has to pack up her daily life and move it in just a few days. I've already started lists. Plural. I have more than one. There's the clothes list, the bathroom list, the stuff list, the prescriptions list. I think I've already lost that last one, so I'll have to duplicate it. But all the lists in the world won't tell me how to feel okay about being apart from my best friend, my partner, the love of my life, the man I have come to depend on.

When I got married, I was so independent. I had lived alone for a long time, and I liked my alone time. I'm not that person anymore. One night is fine. Two is pushing it. Three nights apart makes me nervous. I need him with me, and that's not a bad thing. It's not that we're co-dependent. It's just that I WANT him with me. I feel like it's us against the world. He's my guy and I'm his girl. His
Nick to my Nora.

I don't want to get used to him not being there. But here we are, looking at at least 5-6 months of this. Sigh. I'm so thankful that this door has opened for me, for us. But I pray that another door opens soon, so it can be us again, and not just me.