Somebody's Disappointed

Two blogs in 5 hours! Who knew?

I was just looking at my analytics for the blog. I don't normally have keyword activity, but some poor soul typed "pssst table-dance" into Google and somehow found my blog! I am giggling uncontrollably here.

Listen, kind reader who I am sure did not want to end up here, I apologize!! I am so sorry this happened.

Now I'm off to try it myself.

UPDATE: My blog is listed third down from the top. Amazing! I can't buy this kind of exposure. Of course, what are the chances anyone else will do that?!?

Son, She Said, Have I Got a Little Story For You

As per usual, lots of things to catch up on. But first, for those of you paying attention, you may recognize the title of this blog as a line of lyrics from Pearl Jam. I'm so excited that they are re-releasing their album, Ten, this week. It's 2 CDs and a DVD with extra tracks. Pearl Jam got me through college...I remember listening to them all the time. Parsing songs with my friend, Kerrie. Joking about my upcoming marriage to Eddie Vedder, which obviously didn't happen.

And as I was typing this, my actual husband told me he doesn't like Pearl Jam. I need a moment to catch my breath and recover from the stroke he just gave me.

Okay, better now!

Anyway, I'm pumped for the purchase. And speaking of the early to mid-90's, I just reconnected via Facebook with a great friend from college. Amazingly, we are now in the same geographic area, shop at the same grocery, travel the same roads, etc. Small world getting smaller. Anyway, after a week of saying hi and swapping messages and funny comments, we started chatting and, surprisingly, it was like the 13 year absence didn't exist. When you are blessed with a good friend, there is a natural ebb and flow. Easy conversations, a shared sense of humor, similarities that go beyond coincidence. I'm so glad we've crossed paths again. The conversations we have had recently made me remember how much fun we've had in our past. I hope that continues. We always need friends, don't we. Even if that friend picked Siena over my beloved Buckeyes in their bracket, then had the nerve to actually be correct in the pick. Painful! And, if you're reading this, I look forward to paying off that bet.

Dave has a big birthday this week! He turns 40 on Thursday, and, unlike me, seems to be handling it with grace and ease. I'm sure I'll cry for a week before mine, but that is a ways off. That's the bonus of marrying someone much, much older! Okay, it's only 5 1/2 years older, but still.

Speaking of birthdays, my blogger friend, Julie, has a birthday tomorrow. Be sure to stop by and wish her a Happy Birthday!!! Julie is one of the funniest people I have ever met. If you aren't familiar with her blog, please take some time to read it. Her take on life is refreshing, humorous, and, at times, poignant, but always spot-on! Happy Birthday, Julie! I hope your birthday is fabulous. And if you can stretch your celebrations into a week, then I will be truly impressed.

My dad's birthday is next Sunday, so I'm sure by the end of this week, I'll have eaten enough cake to fulfill Marie Antoinette's wish that started the French Revolution.

Speaking of cakes (and good segues, thankyouverymuch), I have signed up for a cake decorating class on Wednesday nights in April. My mom used to do this, and I have always thought it would be fun. Fingers crossed that I have the skills.

Hmmmm, what else.

I know a lot of people have been asking about Dave. He has not yet found a job in the Columbus area, but we are hopeful. It's been hard, but we are dealing with it. And we always appreciate the tips. If you hear of something, please let us know. It's obviously a bad market, and we are lucky that we are both securely employed. We have the ability to be patient.

My job is still just fabulous. I really enjoy what I do. I basically have conversations all day long. That is such a perfect job for a big mouth like me. I love to talk! And I do it so well. The clients I talk to are also great. They are friendly, and some of them are hilarious. Not a day goes by that I'm not completely cracking up on at least 2-3 calls during a day. Sometimes I wonder if my bosses are thinking I'm on a personal call. My favorites are the ones who call in and immediately tell me how warm it is in Florida or Georgia or Arizona or wherever it is they are calling from. Although March in Ohio can suck, we've had some mild and, dare I say, beautifully warm and sunny days. Spring fever abounds.

Egyptians > Andy Warhol

Dear Hyatt on Capital Square,

Thanks!

Your friend for the next advertising cycle,

Kim

P.S. The Egyptian Mummy looks much cooler when it's 6 stories high!

Pssst...

Hi there! Yes, I'm talking to you, the good people at Edy's. Listen, we all know times are tough. I get that the cost of ingredients is constantly going up. But your new ice cream container, the one that is now one pint less than before? It's pathetic. And you know that, don't you. You're not stupid. And you also know that because I'm addicted to your Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup Ice Cream, I will willingly fork over the money like I'm trading cash for smack in a back alley. Well, no more, my ice cream purveying friends! I'm putting myself in ice cream rehab. I will no longer be a pawn in your game.

Okay, who's next?

Ah yes, I see you hiding over there in the corner, Hyatt on Capital Square. Listen, I'm all for advertising events. But I have been staring at that creepy-ass banner of Andy Warhol for eight weeks now! Eight!! And that event ended February 15th, according to said banner. Every morning, as I travel down 3rd Avenue from 670, that scary-looking man with dead eyes is looking at me, sending chills skittering up and down my spine. That's not a good way to start the day. Now, I know time gets away from us all, but you're a hotel. You have special software that keeps track of dates. Now why is it that you can keep track of what time someone makes a call from their room, yet you can't seem to remember that a banner needs to come down from the side of your building? It's three weeks overdue! Haven't we all suffered enough?!?

This is good...let's keep going.

This is an open statement to all of those people who are pulling ALL of their money out of their banks because they think President Obama is going to take it. He's not, you bunch of reactionary twits. He's also not going to seize money from "Republican Banks," nor will he "turn us all Muslim." Ignorance is not bliss, and all you're doing is lengthening the recovery time for this economic crisis. And if you take your money from the bank, hide it in your home, and it gets stolen, please don't cry on the news about it. NOBODY will feel sorry for you. If you are going to do stupid things, you have to expect really rotten outcomes. That's because you clearly need to learn a lesson, and it needs to be appropriately painful so you get it. Like we don't have enough problems already without this.

And last, but not least, it's time you and I had a little chat, whatever your name is who was just on The Bachelor. I don't watch it, so I'm going off what I read and saw online. Let's forget the fact that you have to be a pretty big narcissist to be on the show in the first place. Putting your three year old son on the show with you is awful. What, exactly, is wrong with you?!? And that whole debacle with the two women? Shameful. And as an aside to the second choice, whatever your name is: If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. But good luck. It seems pretty apparent that you two deserve each other.

Now can someone get that kid's mom on the phone and tell her to take some control. For crying out loud, he'll be in therapy at age 5 at the rate he's going.